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Tags archive: satire

Home /Tag: satire
Opinions

Student scarred by new laundry machines

October 26, 2026 Kyra Obert

The following is satire for the Opinions section of The Clarion. Disaster has struck in the University of Denver residential building, Nelson Hall. Residents of…

Opinions

Freshman business student sues, says eating Einstein Bros. Bagels hasn’t made her smarter

October 12, 2026 Kyra Obert

The following is satire for the Opinions section of The Clarion. DENVER, Colo. — In a recently filed lawsuit against the Daniels College of Business,…

Opinions

Centennial Halls to be replaced with giant hole in the ground

September 28, 2026 Kyra Obert

The following is satire for the Opinions section of the Clarion. Last Monday, the University of Denver Board of Trustees met to give the final…

Featured

Election season 2024: Trading coin flips for dice

May 20, 2024 Emma Lawson

The following is satire for the Opinions section of the Clarion. As we approach the halfway mark for 2024, the new presidential election season draws…

Opinions

Presi-DU-ential Race: The rematch… but does it have to be?

March 11, 2024 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section of the Clarion The verdict is out, and it wasn’t even close. In a unanimous decision, The…

Off-Campus

Florida and Texas think censorship is for chumps

March 4, 2024 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section of the Clarion Allow me to propose a thought experiment:  you are walking down the street. You…

Featured

Miss Americana and half-baked politics

February 12, 2024 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section Donald Trump. Ron DeSantis. Dean Phillips. Jared Polis. Taylor Swift. One of these things is not like…

Opinions

We need to talk about our dorm situation

January 22, 2024 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. Where does our tuition money go? This is a question that has driven many a reporter before…

Opinions

The reason Joe Biden is running for re-election

May 8, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. Joseph Robinette Biden, often colloquialized as merely Joe Biden, sometimes referred to as Sleepy Joe, is the…

On-Campus

How to stay optimistic even when your friends are in summer and you’re not

April 24, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. April showers bring May flowers. That is, at least, the famous idiom. May is the time of…

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  • Black children deserve to grow up
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