The following is a satire for the Opinions section. 

On Aug. 24th, a report surfaced announcing that failed presidential candidate, friend of Elon Musk (odd pairing), “greatest rapper of all time” and fashion designer, Kanye West, was petitioning to change his name to “Ye.” Then on Oct. 19, the Los Angeles Superior Court granted his name change request.

Now, almost a month after the legal change, a quote from a 2018 interview with radio host Big Boy has resurfaced where Ye explains the name change. 

“I believe ‘ye’ is the most commonly used word in the Bible, and in the Bible, it means ‘you.’ So I’m you, I’m us, it’s us. It went from Kanye, which means the only one, to just Ye — just being a reflection of our good, our bad, our confused, everything,” Ye said. 

Sadly but unsurprisingly, this statement is false, as “Lord” and “God” hold the top two spots and “Ye” sits much farther down at 40th place. 

Some people, including local pop culture commentator Nema Alfsifide, believe that Kanye’s bible related reasoning isn’t the truth. She believes that Ye changed his name to sound like the word “yeah” which will technically improve his name recognition as it sounds like an English word. It’s an interesting idea, but will it work? Probably. 

Additionally, Alfsifide believes that Ye wanted to feel more connected to his kids and their unorthodox names: West West, Martyr West, Bessemer West and Hymn West. It is unclear if the change has strengthened his relationship with his children but every father should follow in his footsteps as it shows a level of love that can’t be achieved any other way. 

Alfsifide “personally doesn’t believe that Ye’s name change will connect him more with his children but it definitely will win him the next presidential election he runs in.” 

In 2020, Ye’s political party “The Birthday Party” received a measly 60,000 votes, most likely because his name was too long to keep in their heads. It had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted his platform to be modeled after Wakanda and that his biggest action item was removing bad chemicals from water, toothpaste, and deodorant.  Like I always say, the armpit is the sensor of the body and it’s very important to protect the sensor from harmful chemicals.

Alfsifide is excited to vote for Ye in 2024 and knows he’ll win with his new and improved snappy name. He surely has my vote!