10

Hummer.

Seriously. Interestingly, could also top a 10 best car names

9

Dodge Sprinter.

It’s a mini van, is the irony lost on anyone?

8

Ford Probe.

Really, enough said.

7

Chevrolet Express.

Just call it mom’s taxi

6

Tahoe/Colorado/ Durango

These are all places, “rugged” places. Don’t you feel more rugged just driving one of these behemoths.

5

Toyota Highlander

Do you know even know what a Highlander is? He’s a Gael inhabiting the Highlands of Scotland. Anyone going to war against Great Britain? I didn’t think so.

4

Chevrolet Avalanche

A large mass of snow and ice that breaks off from a mountain and slides at high speeds down killing and crushing everything in its path. Charming image, no?

3

Pontiac Aztek.

First the word is generally spelled with a c. But whatever. The Aztecs’ were a nation that had its own language (Nahuatl), religion, culture, government and traditions. It was then destroyed by the Spanish explorers and brought christianity, civilization and syphilis to the “New World.”

2

Toyota Sequoia.

A sequoia is a really, really big tree. It also tends to be a really old tree, like 2,000 years old. Sequoia is a genus in the Cupressaceae family. And now it is a very large, gas eating SUV.

1

Nissan Armada.

The Spanish naval fleet was destroyed by Great Britain in 1588 After being defeated it sailed into a hurricane (the northernmost on record) and returned with less than half the ships to Spain. This is neither a ship for a car I would take to war.