As a consumer, I have a knack for knowing what I like and knowing what others should buy.
I really think that I should be the one getting paid to be on What Not to Wear on the Learning Channel.
I mean, who else is going to tell you that Old Navy flip flops are summer shoes, not subzero winter footwear?
That said, there are some trends that even Tammie Fay Baker would want to stop and it isn’t the boycotting of Mac makeup.
The faux pas there is that dogs are not accessories-no matter how many times Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie claim they are.
After all, what type of credibility do they have?
The Simple Life is hardly PBS worthy or UPN worthy for that matter.
First of all, dogs are animals.
They aren’t made from synthetic manmade materials or come in an assortment of colors.
Additionally, these hotel-heiress pets shouldn’t be considered an actual canine.
Rather, they are cartoon-like in nature and are made to endorse tacos and Quiznos subs.
You don’t see Scooby Doo endorsing tacos, do you?
Well, other than Oscar Mayer Lunchables, but that’s beside the point.
Secondly, shouldn’t the people at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals be rioting about this shameless public action?
I don’t think it’s normal to paint dogs’ nails with highly flammable and toxic nail polish.
And since when is it normal to dye a poodle’s hair pink?
Finally, just because you think you are cutting edge and showing off your million dollar toy breed, you aren’t in elementary school doing show and tell anymore.
There is no teacher present to hand you a scratch-and-sniff sticker or cookie.
Leave your dog at home and refrain from showing the world that your pet eats lobster for dinner, while college students suffer through 80-for-1 specials on Ramen noodles.
And if you’re going to get a dog, get one that can’t be seriously injured by a fly swatter.
You wouldn’t want to be walking at night and get mugged with your dog that just got wiped out by mouthwash.
Because then you would have to take RTD, and no one wants to do that.
