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Satire

Home /Opinions/Satire
On-Campus

Is the Quackmire Endangering Life on Campus?

February 20, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. What is the purpose of a university? Why do we trudge tired-eyed through the Denver snow to…

On-Campus

The University of Denver’s ‘subtle’ physical tests

February 13, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. Yin and yang, light and darkness, a bowling ball and an egg. The universe is full of…

On-Campus

Students find a treasure trove of unclaimed commodities in dining hall

January 30, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. The student body of the University of Denver has found itself in a foofaraw, oxymoronically due to…

Opinions

Get ready! Mercury is going to go double retrograde this year!

April 26, 2022 Chris Lee

The following is satire for the Opinions section.  Astrologers have been doomsday prepping on a scale not seen since the end of the Mayan calendar…

Off-Campus

PM Boris Johnson attempted to lift COVID-19 mandate to throw big birthday bash

April 19, 2022 Phillip Alvarez

The following is satire for the opinions section. On 10 Downing St., May 2020, PM Boris Johnson was busy writing up new legislation that would…

On-Campus

Student jailed for lost ID

April 19, 2022 Phillip Alvarez

The following is satire for the Opinions section.  Woke up this morning and walked to class. Twenty minutes. Went to scan in and could not…

On-Campus

Letter to the Ghost Shrimp Appreciation Club

April 5, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. Dear Ghost Shrimp Appreciation Club,  I would like to express my dismay at your abysmal meeting…

On-Campus

Duo two-factor authentication to expand to Multi-Factor Authentication

April 5, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. The new Duo two-factor authentication has been described by students as “the bane of my existence,”…

On-Campus

School wide Slip ‘N Slide

January 24, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section.  DENVER– Jan. 18 brought freezing drizzle and hearty gusts to the Mile High City. By 8…

Off-Campus

KarJenners aren’t real

January 17, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. It’s happened. One of the most infamous couples, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, have broken up sending shockwaves…

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Recent Posts

  • Nicki Minaj’s descent to conservatism: from queer icon to MAGA
  • What is Gen Z concerned about during midterms?
  • Oct. 30 Crossword answers
  • Denver beats Pacific with five-goal Senior Day onslaught
  • Denver volleyball sweeps San Francisco in three-set win
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