In her debut poetry collection, “To Feel,” Sami Helgeson makes her journey of healing and growth tangible through emotional “letters to/from the deepest parts of ourselves.”
A senior at DU, Sami studies environmental science and international studies. She is the president of Public Achievement, an on-campus group that motivates middle school students towards social justice and community organizing.
In her personal life, Sami is a Wisconsin native who loves to travel. She wrote her first blog while living as an exchange student in Indonesia, and she started the second during her field quarter through East Africa this past fall. The next place on her bucket list? France.
This newly-published author is featured as part of the Clarion’s Arts & Life series promoting student work. In an interview, Sami opened up about her writing process, releasing a debut during a global pandemic and why you should buy her book.
Kiana: Could you tell me about your book?
Sami: “To Feel” is made up of poems from the last five years I’ve gathered together. It’s about the experience of feeling intense emotion—some of it good, some of it not-so-good. I’ve experienced some trauma, so it centers around me trying to reconnect with myself rather than numbing things out. There are a lot of themes in it: love, heartbreak, growth. I hope people can find bits and pieces in it that are relatable to what they feel.
Kiana: What was this book inspired by? Why did you write it?
Sami: I had been sharing poetry on Instagram, and it was really cool to have people connect with what I was writing. It made it feel like it was my responsibility to take what I was feeling and form it into words. Because it was helping other people process their own lives.
I felt this call, this need, to write. I started going to therapy in January, and I gained so much from sitting with feelings I had avoided for so long. It was transformational, and I felt that was necessary to share. That may not be what everyone wants or needs to do, but I feel like we gain so much from being vulnerable about the good and bad.
Kiana: What did your writing process look like?
Sami: My process isn’t systematic. It’s me not writing for weeks at a time, and then one day sitting down—in the middle of winter, at home or a coffee shop—for four hours at a time. It isn’t a structured process, but it means my mind and heart are always put directly on the page.
Some of the best poems, I think, are the ones you don’t have to edit, dissect and reconfigure. What I value most in my poems are their reality, and it lies in the imperfections. I don’t like to edit too much. I feel like that defeats the purpose.
I probably had 200 poems to work with. I went through and tried to put things together so it wasn’t too much love or heartbreak all at once. It’s set up as a non-linear story. You can flip to any page and start reading. It’s kind of cool because that’s how life is. You don’t experience everything all at once. Those moments are interspersed with one another. I would be sitting in my room, remembering an experience—and feel, ‘I have to memorialize this.’
Kiana: What was your experience like getting this book published?
Sami: For the past year, it’s been something I wanted to do but didn’t have time for until field quarter. I self-published through Amazon, which isn’t ideal, but it’s an easy process. All I had to do was upload the manuscript and figure out the right margins, and then it was done. It sounds easy, but I had to do it about two dozen times. I would order a copy of the book, and it would look ugly. Or I would have to resize the margins or fix the page numbers. I have around 12 proof copies that are not at all what the book is now.
It was published [last] Friday, and it’s been cool to see people get their copies. The final product looks really good, and I’m so proud of it. It’s exciting that others finally get to read it.
Kiana: What has it been like releasing your debut at a time when there’s so much change and uncertainty around everyone?
Sami: It’s definitely unique timing. There are so many people stuck at home right now, and they have a lot of time to sit with their feelings whether or not they want to do that. It’s unfortunate, but I can also think of it as a great opportunity. So much of the book was written alone in my room, and that’s how people are getting to experience it.
Kiana: Could you see yourself publishing a second book? Will you continue with poetry?
Sami: For my own sanity, I’m always writing. I don’t have direct plans to publish any time soon, but it’ll probably happen when there’s enough work to compile again.
I write mostly poetry because I like having that artistic expression and freedom. There aren’t any distinct rules to follow. The whole point is to break them, so the format speaks to me more than any other type of writing. If I can’t tell how I’m feeling, poetry is important to me for experiencing and processing emotion.
Kiana: What advice do you have for aspiring writers or authors?
Sami: The most important part of writing is to get it out. Whether or not that goes anywhere is a different question. But if you feel called to write, then do it. There are lots of ways to share your work other than publishing a full book. If you want to write and share it, then take pictures of your work. Upload it to Instagram. Just, above all else, write.
Kiana: Is there anyone who helped you bring this book into creation you want to shout-out?
Sami: I’m really grateful to David Fain for designing the cover. To Rachel Sanderson for answering questions and being an inspiration to me. To my close friends for looking at the book in its unfinished state and supporting me through this process.
If you would like to support Sami and her work, “To Feel” was released March 20. It is available on Amazon for purchase.
Through this time, the Clarion remains devoted to highlighting student work. In this section, we will be featuring podcasts, blogs, and projects that have been created and are run by students. If you or someone you know is interested in being featured, email duclarioneditorialteam@gmail.com.
