Seitan. Tempeh. Adzuki. The preceding names are neither alien planets, nor the names of Sumo wrestlers, nor even curses in an ancient tongue. They’re proteins found on the lengthy and almost-all vegan menu at Watercourse Foods in Denver.

Located on the cusp of Uptown and Cap Hill, two Denver neighborhoods in which hipsterdom is a given, Watercourse sits on the corner of 17th Avenue and Emerson Street.

One is immediately struck by the large murals adorning the walls of Watercourse. Proto-ink drawings and renderings of animals like birds and buffalos come from the school of post-modernist neo-naturalism, reminiscent of Western Americana, sets the mood for rustic wood floors and booths, and a sleek, curved bar. But did the owners chop down the tree and process the wood themselves? To be a self-sufficient, flannel-doting hipster today, it would seem hypocritical to have not done so.

Their entrées, sandwiches and salads are all reasonably priced, ranging between $12 and $15. The plates do not disappoint, as the sandwiches are adorned with two sides and served in generous proportions, which leave more than enough food to take home to eat while brooding over pipe tobacco and Salinger. If you’ve never indulged your curiosity and tried foods you’ve never heard of, go ahead and do so at Watercourse.

Try the tempeh, which is a delectable concoction of slightly-fermented soybeans formed into a firm, flavorful cake. Savor the seitan, which is a high-protein meat substitute made from wheat gluten. It’s often crafted into meat-shaped forms, and is common in some Asian cuisine. Appreciate the adzuki, a small bean from Japan. The diversity and length of the menu (and its rigorous adherence to local foods and vegetarian delights) could be overwhelming to some.

The menu also features the aptly-named edible called “The Grinder,” a modern take on the classic meat-packed favorite; the Watercourse Grinder is seitan, stacked with cheese, mushrooms, and onions, with au jus for good measure; the baguette it was served on was fresh.

Their beer and wine selections also impress; scour the menu for a veritable how-to on schooling your friends in knowledge of obscure beers and wines. Additionally, many of their selections are from local breweries and Colorado wineries, which increases the hip factor exponentially.

Look for beers from Odell, from Fort Collins, Great Divide, from Denver and from the Denver Beer Co. They also serve the sought-after Glider Cider, a hard cider made in Denver from the relatively undiscovered Colorado Cider Company. Is there anything hipper than imbibing the same drink, cider, as the Puritans drank in the seventeenth century? Methinks not.

Watercourse’s diverse menu of teas is also noteworthy. Don’t be shy about ordering the oddly erotic “Rosie Palmer” (hibiscus tea and lemonade) in front of your butch, tattooed friends. Redefine those expectations with which your gender has saddled you.

The dinner crowd on a Friday night includes a diverse army of Denverite foodies, but they’re not the typical hip folk found in Cap Hill. They include businessmen and women, yuppies and young politicos. At the table next to this Grinder, the guests talked about Hugo Chavez while downing a bottle of red. The dashing host wore a silken bowtie, ‘nuff said.

The music selection was less than hip. Mainstream bands were played over the speakers; the hipsters reeled in disgust. Radiohead? So ‘90s.

The dessert selections are also excellent. This grinder was drawn to the scout cookie, an ambrosial 4-inch wide cake of coconut, shredded nuts, honey (or agave) and sweet potatoes. This glorious blend is then cloaked in a raiment of decadently dark chocolate. Buy the scout cookie. Devour. Repeat.