Let’s face it. Every good hipster has the occasional jonesin’ for some meat piled, full fat, mayonnaise soaked, fried cheese layered, milanesa- sporting gourmet tortas. And by every good hipster, I mean those trendy enough to have tasted Las Tortas.
Las Tortas, located at 5307 Leetsdale Dr., is a beacon of all things real. Real authentic Mexican food, real sugar, real fat, real delicious eats and not to mention real good two-for-one Margaritas.
As most authentic restaurants are, Las Tortas is slightly off the beaten path.
Four miles north of DU off of Colorado Bouldevard, the restaurant’s sign is nearly indistinguishable from the road. The parking lot is better described as a small mound of cement, and the odd building boasts an adjoining smoke shop, copy center and dispensary disguised as a ‘compassion center.’
Expectations are unlikely to be soaring based on the restaurant’s unimpressive exterior. But upon crossing the threshold of the improbable storefront, its unlikely brand of charm will become instantly apparent.
Paper star lanterns send speckled light across elevated four-person tables. Brightly-colored abstract art adorns red walls and an impressive and a fascinatingly kitschy selection of Corona themed decorations are dispersed throughout the oblong space.
Assorted fake flowers hot glued into oversized margarita glasses adorn each table while Telehit, the Spanish language equivalent of MTV, plays loud enough to induce inadvertent foot tapping.
The extensive bilingual menu carries everything from salads, to burgers, to flan — but the main event remains the overwhelming selection of tortas.
According to the restaurant’s website, a torta is a Mexican sandwich served on an oblong six to eight inch toasted roll called telera. It can consist of varied combinations of meats, cheeses and eggs, and is often garnished with avocado, mayonnaise, tomato, onion, chipotle sauce and jalapeño.
According to our tastebuds, a torta cannot be encapsulated by a mere listing of ingredients. Its essence is more easily communicated in satisfied lip smacking and assorted grunts.For the indecisive among us, it should be noted that any choice is a good one. Except, perhaps, not ordering two-for-one chili-salt rimmed margaritas.
Friendly and efficient staff serve a diverse range of customers — from children consuming alarming quantities of the Mexican soda Jarritos, to the working adult stopping to grab a bite on the way home, to a group of college age torta aficionados befriending the servers and emitting murmurs of approval.
Las Tortas is no place for the weak of heart, weak of character or weak of stomach.Calorie counters beware: you will very quickly lose count.
But for those with daring-do, it offers the ideal spot to romance that cute girl with the impeccably retro headscarf and cat-eye glasses or perhaps indulge in a night of unbridled demonstrations of masculinity by attending Las Tortas’ weekly Fight Night. Or just to drink plentiful margaritas.
So ditch the skinny jeans for something slightly more forgiving, brush up on your Spanish pronunciation, bribe a friend to be designated driver, and, finally, pleasure your taste buds.
They will thank you.
