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Satire

Home /Opinions/Satire
On-Campus

Students find a treasure trove of unclaimed commodities in dining hall

January 30, 2023 Aidan Miller

The following is satire for the Opinions section. The student body of the University of Denver has found itself in a foofaraw, oxymoronically due to…

Opinions

Get ready! Mercury is going to go double retrograde this year!

April 26, 2022 Chris Lee

The following is satire for the Opinions section.  Astrologers have been doomsday prepping on a scale not seen since the end of the Mayan calendar…

Off-Campus

PM Boris Johnson attempted to lift COVID-19 mandate to throw big birthday bash

April 19, 2022 Phillip Alvarez

The following is satire for the opinions section. On 10 Downing St., May 2020, PM Boris Johnson was busy writing up new legislation that would…

On-Campus

Student jailed for lost ID

April 19, 2022 Phillip Alvarez

The following is satire for the Opinions section.  Woke up this morning and walked to class. Twenty minutes. Went to scan in and could not…

On-Campus

Letter to the Ghost Shrimp Appreciation Club

April 5, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. Dear Ghost Shrimp Appreciation Club,  I would like to express my dismay at your abysmal meeting…

On-Campus

Duo two-factor authentication to expand to Multi-Factor Authentication

April 5, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. The new Duo two-factor authentication has been described by students as “the bane of my existence,”…

On-Campus

School wide Slip ‘N Slide

January 24, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section.  DENVER– Jan. 18 brought freezing drizzle and hearty gusts to the Mile High City. By 8…

Off-Campus

KarJenners aren’t real

January 17, 2022 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section. It’s happened. One of the most infamous couples, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, have broken up sending shockwaves…

Off-Campus

Self-proclaimed genius changes name to win presidential election

November 15, 2021 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section.  On Aug. 24th, a report surfaced announcing that failed presidential candidate, friend of Elon Musk (odd…

Featured

Confession: I accidentally turned myself into a Satanist

November 8, 2021 Nina Morgenstein

The following is a satire for the Opinions section.  After a rough midterm period of too many visits to the student health center and endless…

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