Modern dating is a scary concept for many college students. Dating apps, talking stages, exclusivity, situationships and even the murkiness of the term dating itself serve as hallmarks of our current dating culture. 

Elizabeth Suter has spent her career researching relationships and recently began a freshmen seminar (FSEM) called “Communicating to Connect: the Art and Science of Communication in Personal Relationships.” She dives past the material markers of modern dating, emphasizing the collapse of the gender binary, questioning of marriage, parenting and overall delayed adulthood. Combined, all of these factors impact the current dating culture. 

Conversations over shifts in dating culture are most prominent on social media as new slang or storytime videos about relatable experiences are shared. Many young adults will complain to their friends about being in a six-month situationship and everyone knows what that means. College students who are in these situations, your pain is felt. 

“The first time I heard the words talking stage or situationship was definitely on social media. A lot of that came from people trying to label things that didn’t necessarily used to have a label or if they did, it was just a much simpler one,” said Abi Shearer, a DU student majoring in psychology. 

Our current society seems to have come up with labels for everything. From dating terms to the specific aesthetic one falls into. It seems the college-aged generation has mixed opinions on the terms surrounding the dreaded situationship. Even after many conversations with students all over the relationship spectrum, the lines only became more blurred. 

Some believe that labeling relationships may provide a sense of comfort for individuals.

“It’s a step above not knowing them but many steps below dating them,” said Ellie Zarch, a senior studying finance and political science at the University of Richmond. 

Zarch feels that these labels allow an opportunity for individuals to establish boundaries with someone, which directly combats cheating culture. Although exclusivity isn’t always a given in many cases, causing further definitions and greater confusion. 

In 2025, a survey by YouGov found a third of Americans had cheated on their partner. They pointed towards social media as it allows individuals to “participate in these conversations privately and thus encourage more intimate exchanges.” With a growing number of Americans succumbing to cheating, there is certainly credibility to Zarch’s opinion.

Beyond boundaries, labels bring about a sense of community. Seeing videos from content creators about a “talking stage” on TikTok gives us a chance to relate to one another. 

“Terms are important because when people have those meta communications about the label or defining the relationship, it shifts,” Dr. Suter said. 

Dr. Suter emphasizes that this communication can either make someone feel a sense of stability or run the other way. To her, it is essential that our generation defines these labels because it contributes to one’s “belonging safety” in a relationship. 

Chances are you’ve heard the term “situationship.” Maybe you’ve even experienced it, but what defines it? Merriam Webster puts it as “a romantic or sexual relationship whose members have not formally denied it or officially committed to it.” It would be great if our generation could all agree on this clear cut definition, but it’s much more nuanced than that. 

“Situationship implies that someone wants something more and someone doesn’t,” said Anita Gichuki, a senior majoring in international business at the University of Denver. 

Gichuki goes on to emphasize casual relationships aren’t necessarily bad but it is important both people know what they want. 

Many people have similar definitions to Gichuki but despite variations, negative connotations is a consistent pattern. If this is the case, then why are we okay with situationships?

“It is more of a thing because it is a reflection of the political culture of men wanting to have their cake and eat it too and be able to do whatever they want,” said Zarch.

Recently, the media has pointed towards a rise of conservative values within everyday life. Zarch believes that this rise has led to a lack of chivalry between partners. 

She also emphasizes how many people, specifically women, have higher standards than ever before. Marriage rates are decreasing and not having children is becoming more common. 

Women are more independent than ever before, but many people say they are adjusting their expectations about relationships as the broader political climate becomes more conservative.

“[Humans] are physiologically connected so we don’t do well with loneliness and isolation. We are meant to be in community. We are not meant to be alone together. We’re going to find a way to be together whether it’s an adaptive way or whether it’s a healthy way because we need that. That’s how we thrive,” said Dr. Suter. 

Society gets into situationships because there is a desire of belonging and a want to conform to the new cultural norm. Humans are victims of herd mentality causing them to follow the group’s actions. Individuals want to fit in and right now, that might mean taking part in these concepts that some might resent.

“There’s this societal pressure that is put upon younger people if you won’t get someone to like you if you don’t participate in these ‘games,’” said Shearer. These “games” can take the form of leaving someone on read, waiting a specific amount of time to send a direct message or making false promises. 

Although there is nuance within definitions surrounding modern dating culture, many look towards dating apps as a huge generational marker and view the benefits. They help people get out of their comfort zone, allow you to set preferences according to type and additionally provide a network for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community to meet. 

“I think especially for people in the queer community, it’s a great way to meet people. The community is a lot smaller because it’s a lot more intertwined, especially at smaller schools like DU,” said Shearer. 

Although there are concerns with dating apps, the biggest concern seems to stem from the effects of social media itself. 

“People are willing to settle for less in our generation. It’s a big impact of growing up with social media,” Shearer said.

Constant access to media that tells society what relationships should look like and unattainable beauty standards leads to a comparison game that diminishes self-worth. Shearer noted this access contributes heavily to anxiety in relationships. 

Zarch also notes on the dangers of comparison.

“It has given people an unattainable version of what a woman should be because social media is very much a highlight reel,” she said. “I think that has raised a lot of men’s standards as well.”

Dr. Suter emphasized that it is important we move forward and look at technology to ensure we will be “the healthiest we can” and use it to enhance, not destroy relationships.

All of these societal changes have contributed to the generational frustration surrounding the word “situationship.” Not every aspect of modern dating has to be accepted, but these trends reveal patterns of finding connection and belonging. 

Maybe you’ve read this and have already drafted a text to that six-month “situationship” of yours to put an end to it or turn it into something more. Whatever your goal may be, it is clear that modern dating is not as shallow as many people make it out to be.