Status Update:

“Jane Doe is: sorry Roger, you tiger now.”

“Joe Schmoe is: wanting every three-week-old Rockies fan to stop trying to buy tickets.”

Interests:

“Epic ‘Zelda’ moments, Otter pops, marine biology, selling out.”

Quotes:

“You can only tie the record for flying low.”

“One does not simply walk into Wal-Mart. There is evil there that does not sleep.”

“Racism is a terrible, terrible thing. But there are some really good racist cooks.”

All information in this section was found on Facebook.com.

All of it is anonymous.

Compiled by Clarion staff.