Ah, the familiar smells and sounds of the University of Denver’s campus back in action for the second quarter: the rustle of kids hurrying to class, the slap of Pioneer hockey in another dominating win, and the calming scent of cannabis in the air. But, the furlough dulled a few less-venial memories that this first week successfully returned to prominence. So, I hereby dedicate this article to my insular views on “Things That Piss Me Off.”
Atop the list of things that athwart my happiness is laundry. Not only does our noble school feel the need to impart us with education, they also plan to give us some “real life” experience. After four years at $30,000 dollars a pop, almost everyone is going to have some outstanding loans. Thus, DU just wants to acclimatize us to the life of poverty sure to come by raising laundry to a dollar a load! Yet, just in case the students missed the memo on inflation, DU decides to make it painfully obvious by having the Pioneer cards programmed for 75 cents a load-reminding us of their benevolence with education a quarter at a time. A side note, worth mentioning because it shows the trickle down effects of such policies, my roommate has decided to protest the price hike in laundry (this is a nice way of saying he never did, does, or will do laundry). Now I have to champion a formidable pile of clothes every time I exit the room, and to my dismay the pile just gets stronger.
A close second in the spited category rests within my retinue: why must we slam doors? Imagine the scene: after a long day of class, calisthenics, and consumption I lay in my bed, about to drift off (not a small task considering the 1970 mattress I have supporting my spine), and…. SLAM! Now I know we’r all worried about our lighter wallets (see #1), but try to keep the anger inside and use a softer touch with the door. So please, lets all just slam the door…on…errrr…door slamming.
To round out the list I present a new up and comer-one that may just have the momentum for a future #1-in that every class is full or overflowing. Onlast check one of the perks normally associated with private schooling is availability of seats within smaller classes. Thus, I find two things odd: all classes are packed and DU boosts of the largest freshmen class ever admitted.
I may not have graduated yet, but these two facts seem a bit fishy. But hey, what do I know, I’m the one grateful for getting into interpretive dance 101-but don’t hurry to the course listings, I got the last spot. That all I have room for, but tune in next quarter (same time, same place) for another stirring jaunt through “Things That piss Me Off.”
Tom Green
Fresman
