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A father made a unique promise this season. A promise to a team, to the captains, to the coaches and most importantly, to his son.
In October, junior midfielder and captain Ben Wahler’s father, Bob, spoke to the DU men’s lacrosse team and made a promise to attend every home game this season.
For most parents, this vow wouldn’t be considered a big deal, but for Wahler and the lacrosse team, to see Bob Wahler in the stands is an inspiration.
“When I was six weeks old my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, and 23 years ago they gave him six to nine months to live,” Wahler said. “He’s lived 23 years now.”
Wahler’s father exceeded the doctor’s expectations to live, but it has not been an easy journey. His treatments after the diagnosis were extensive and included brain surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.
“It’s been a battle for me and for my family, and especially for him,” Wahler said.
The battle endures. Since the treatments, he has suffered seizures, strokes, brain hemorrhage, loss of speech and loss of the ability to walk and stand. Wahler’s father currently resides in an assisted living home in Evergreen and is brought to games in a wheelchair by his wife and temporarily disconnected from medication or IV support.
“It’s so much work for him,” his son said. “Just getting out of bed and getting everything together and being that far away from the medical staff up in Evergreen. It’s a risk that he’s willing to take to be an inspiration for all the guys on the field.”
During Wahler’s freshman year, he played Division III hockey for Hobart College in Geneva, N.Y., but opted to return to Colorado for the rest of his collegiate career.
“He (Bob) was kind of taking a turn for the worse right in the middle of my freshman year. I thought it was in the best interest of myself and for my family to come back.”
Knowing that there would not be much he could do to help the situation, Wahler returned to Colorado, but to play lacrosse, due to an NCAA eligibility rule. In high school, Wahler played lacrosse for three years at Cushing Academy.
“My mom’s support of him while I was young and growing up I strongly believe is what kept him alive. I felt like it was kind of my time to also be there, being older and being more mature.”
Although playing hockey was something Wahler thought he’d be doing forever, he felt returning to Denver was something he had to do.
“It was tough, though, and I had to give up hockey, and that was kind of my life for a long time. But when I looked at the big picture and I really put things into perspective and saw what my priorities really were, it was definitely one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I don’t regret it at all,” he said.
DU was the only school Wahler considered, and things simply worked out well.
“I know how proud it makes him only pushes me to work harder,” Wahler said. “After what he’s been through, the inspiration that he’s given me to work harder, any sort of adversity that I face is nothing compared to what he’s been through.”
Wahler’s father’s fight has not just been inspirational to his son, but to the entire lacrosse team.
“I was just talking to my roommate about it, Brad Richardson, and he tells me all the time about how he thinks about my dad and how much he has helped him,” Wahler said.
The team uses the example of Bob Wahler’s fight to motivate them both on and off the fied.
“When you’re stressed out with school and stressed out with lacrosse, you almost get blinded by these little things in life. You look at a story like my dad has, and it really kind of slows you down and lets you look at life a little bit differently and it definitely calms me down. I think guys on the team can do that. They can really relate to my dad, in the sense that his fight was with cancer, and everything he goes through now, and our fight here is on the lacrosse field and in school.”
Wahler and the team will be competing at home twice this weekend, and for Wahler, “Being able to look up at him in the stands from the field, it’s the best feeling in the world.”
