Last week, my car was vandalized off campus. I parked in the neighborhood by the intersection between High and Race street at 8:40 a.m., and when I came back around 6 p.m., dirt had been thrown all over my car with handprints deliberately stamped on my windows and door handles. At that moment, I had no clue what would have brought this on besides the way I choose to outwardly express my religion.
I don’t want to go into detail about this incident. Truthfully, I’ve been talking about it too much (as advised by my therapist and Certified Wellness Coach program advisor) in an attempt to process my emotions and not let this go unnoticed. What better way to bring attention to something that’s been bugging me than to write it out?
The increasing Islamophobia that’s been festering on DU’s campus can no longer be ignored. Not because I’ve finally experienced it firsthand, but because of the right-wing shift of today’s political climate that has made existing outside of the binary virtually impossible. DU reflects that sentiment not only in its student body, but in who is protected by the university and who is not.
The statement “Be You at DU” is cute and all, but what depth does it hold if the university actively pushes back against any actual inclusivity? In 2024, a year before I enrolled, the right to peacefully protest on campus was restructured so that protesters would not disrupt the institution, the very issue they were protesting. Ironic, truly. The year after that, diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) at DU was essentially killed. My first ever article for The Clarion was on this topic, and I think that shows the mentality I had entering my first year.
Being a hijabi on campus is a shared struggle. I’ve heard countless stories from my other halal hotties, as my CWC advisor Dr. Indhira Udofia likes to call us. It’s funny, but just something as silly as being referred to as a “halal hottie” brings a sense of community to me that I feel like I’ve lost along the way in my DU journey.
If being you at DU means you must exist within the borders of normativity, that’s not authentic inclusivity, it’s discrimination with a smile and a pat on the back. I would be lying if I said I feel safe and included here. Despite what my wonderful friends and advisors have told me, I can’t help but look over my shoulder as I cross the street, apprehensive about walking alone to my car.
I wish I could go back to being willfully ignorant of just how discriminatory DU is. Take the cultural center getting removed, for example. Nobody prepares you for how experiencing a hate crime fundamentally changes how you view your surroundings. Lately, I’ve been disconnected from classes. Externally, my physical body sits down in my lectures and writes notes on my iPad. Internally, I feel eyes around me boring holes into my head from the intensity of their stares.
What is even worse is knowing that nothing will change unless I continue to document microaggressions and harassment. I must build a case and present it to DU, because my fears and anxieties alone are not enough. It hurts to know that in order to see progress, I and countless others must continue to endure harassment.
I will continue to engage in class because if there’s one thing that I am, it is stubborn. I will continue to talk about this, I will continue to write about this (even if it’s only in my diary) and I will continue to feel the weight of representation on my shoulders. Recently, I’ve seen a few hijabi freshmen from my high school on campus, and what kind of an injustice would it be to them if I ran away? So I will continue to show up, regardless of how hard it is to wake up and drive all the way to class.
I will end with a message to whoever is reading this: continue to show up as you are regardless of your differences. Do not succumb to the ignorance of others. You belong in every room you walk in, even if you are the only one who looks like you.
If you ever feel like you’ve experienced discrimination or any form of harassment on campus, please report your experience to the Office of Civil Rights and Equal Opportunity (CREO).
