Photo by: courtesey of 20th Century Fox
From the makers of “Epic Movie,” “Date Movie” and the “Scary Movie” franchise comes another equally useless film, “Meet the Spartans.”
The writers/directors, Jason Friedburg and Aaron Seltzer, have made their careers by exploiting the current genre blockbusters of the industry, intermingling them with pop culture references and tabloid fodder. “Meet the Spartans” is no exception. If you have ever had the urge to see a Spartan warrior throw look-a-likes of Britney Spears or the judges from American Idol into an enormous pit in dramatic fashion, then look no further. No popular television show goes unexploited, no present-day scandalous Hollywood vixen un-impersonated.
Spartan life being the largest parodied theme throughout the film, it is filled with jokes about fake abs and latent Spartan homosexuality. Following the basic plotline of “300,” the film follows King Leonidas on his quest to defeat the Persian army. Instead of fighting in the traditional sense, the Spartans in this film compete in contests such as a fierce dance off, where a Persian emissary, played by Method Man, gets “served.”
In yet another mockery of a scene, Leonidas consults the oracle that happens to be Ugly Betty from the popular prime-time television show. Surprisingly, the scenes that are exact copies from “300” are fairly accurate in their composition and style. In one such scene, the Spartans assail their enemies while phasing in and out of slow motion. Added are the filmmaker’s attempts at humor. Leonidas and his men employ the dreaded purple nurple and wedgie techniques in order to vanquish their enemies.
Fans of Carmen Electra will be happy to hear that she is not done playing scantily clad promiscuous vixens. Electra is the source of a good third of the films crudeness as scene after scene of her fill the screen, sending the clear message that in some cases looks really are everything. It’s as if the has-beens and rejects of Hollywood got together and thought up ways in which to embarrass themselves. Joining Electra and Method Man is none other than Hurcules himself, Kevin Sorbo, who plays Leonidas’s captain. Ken Davitian, the large naked manager from “Borat,” also makes an appearance as God-King Xerces.
Whether searching for a rarely found moment of humorous bliss, or just trying to find something to pass the time, surely someone truly enjoys these films. The sheer number that have been made and their wide distribution confirms this idea. These movies represent a culmination of American complacency and stupidity. They are a product of our obsession with the lives of unimportant celebrities and love of cheap laughs. Sadly, it is a trend that seems to be growing rather than declining. Despite their lack of redeeming characteristics, these films continue to be made. Ironically, this movie comes out during the time when the greatest cinematic achievements of the year are about to be honored during award season. “Meet the Spartans” stands as a reminder of just how terrible a film can be.
Combining slapstick one-liners and vulgar crude humor, the film falls short of entertaining. The only humor the film inspires is that when all is said and done in the box office, it will most likely have turned a profit. The joke is on any unsuspecting viewer willing to pay admission.
