We are constantly shown the image of the perfect relationship. It is passionate, yet long-lasting. Trusting, yet faithful. Fun, but also committed. It is by these qualities that we base our decisions on the satisfaction we have in our own personal relationships.
These seemingly perfect relationships create the criteria for our own relationships, a criteria that is not easy to fulfill. But don’t we deserve it? Shouldn’t we be able to get it all? Or do you settle for something that at its best is only on the verge of extraordinary?
For single women, this question will always be an issue. How much do you put up with the wrong things before it is time to move on? Obviously every relationship has problems and drawbacks, but when it comes to “ever after” shouldn’t we be able to have it all?
Life itself is much like a relationship; there is always something else needed to make it better. After you get the “perfect” job, it is time to search for the “perfect” house. Similarly, after you reach the utmost level of openness and comfort with your significant other, your mystery and intrigue are lost and that becomes the new missing factor in your relationship. It seems as though when you gain one thing you, lose another. Therefore, there is no level where both are equally present which leaves us with a lacking relationship in comparison to those we base our decisions upon.
The relationships that we base our criteria on are those unusually seemingly happy couples, the friends that seem to have it all and even the couples seen in romantic comedies. Of course the relationships in movies are not realistic, and we all know better than to think that any relationship is ever as happy as it looks on the outside. But the knowledge that about half of marriages do end in divorce forces us to keep our standards often unreasonably high.
The question is: when do we face the facts? No relationship, no matter how good, will ever have it all. No one wants to be alone; while at the same time no one wants to be married to someone you can’t even have a conversation with. But does it have to be one of the two extremes?
We could be unrealistically picky by waiting until someone comes along and fulfills every aspect of our high standards, or we could take that chance with someone who is just mediocre and have it end in divorce. Where does the middle ground fall? Does it all rely on chance?
As an admitted romantic, I have to hope that there is such a thing as an extraordinary relationship, one that doesn’t end in divorce or mistrust. The success of a relationship depends on our ability to take that jump while completely trusting that the person on the other end won’t drop us. Even though the stakes are high and our standards are even higher, the need for love is somehow built in all of us and hopefully it will be found.
