Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that there is a never-ending string of problems that must be faced.

Anytime two people come together, eventually their personalities and beliefs will conflict and a disagreement will begin. Often these disagreements are small, but there will always be those topics that bring anger and hurt every time they are mentioned. Having different views is a completely normal thing to have; yet when do those annoying and frustrating traits of your significant other outweigh the good?

I have never seen a healthy, open relationship that doesn’t have some sort of problem embedded within it. We are human, and often those we love are very different than ourselves. There is an unending list of problems that we see in others, and that others can see in us. After the excitement and thrill of a relationship begin to wear, the problems that used to seem so minor suddenly become more prevalent.

It is natural to have to work through difficulties. But what happens when these problems start to override the good that makes up the base of the relationship? In long-term relationships, those involved are constantly assessing the good and the bad. So many couples remain together because they fear the loss of history they have with their significant together. Many question their very happiness, when suddenly the problems that once seemed so unimportant become more noticeable.

Those in a new relationship will see each other and the relationship as perfect and hopeful. Could it be that the weathered, long-term relationships seem hopeless only because the excitement has left? From what perspective is there clarity? A new couple’s vision is blinded by the excitement of new love, just as a long lasting couple begins to see only the negative. From where can one find the truth?

I am not sure the answer to this question. It seems as though the problems that are always there simply become more apparent over time. Perhaps early on the negative is ignored in favor of blind bliss. It is only when the problems are compared rationally with the good that a clear assessment can be made. There is no relationship that is perfect, yet no one wants to be in one that is overridden with problems. It is then that one must make a decision.

Every relationship we will ever encounter will have difficulties. Perhaps the goal of a relationship is to find someone whose attributes outweigh their flaws and who you feel you could love through the difficulties you will eventually have to face.