Ah, Starbucks—the ubiquitous, ever-present king of the coffee-chain. What started out as a small, boutique coffee shop just outside of Seattle’s Pike Place Market has spread throughout the physical and pop culture world. At its core, however, beyond the pop culture and the stereotypes, Starbucks does serve coffee, and therefore the chain is more than worthy of a “fair” review.

I decided to choose the Starbucks that, to me, most embodied the ideals of the chain. The obvious choice was the Starbucks located within the Hampden Avenue King Soopers. Nothing says a deliciously crafted cup of coffee like the shop being located in the middle of a produce section.

This Starbucks’ decor was a lesson in beautiful post modernist simplicity. Dark wood accents intertwine with a black iron structure, casting the store to look like an old warehouse, perfectly fitting in with the current industrial interior design trend.

The ambiance is subtle, light music plays out from overhead speakers, colored LED lights illuminate the chalk-art menus. The music is sometimes interrupted by “Head clerk to register three” and “Can we get maintenance to clean up on aisle eight?” It’s a rather delightful setting.

The Starbucks menu itself is rather simple if not crowded, but behind it lays an absolute maze of options, customizations and additions that transform a simple drink into a science experiment.

Your basic options are the espresso based drinks such as: Americano ($2.00), Cappuccino ($2.85), Latte ($2.85), Vanilla Latte ($3.35), Macchiato ($3.65) (not a real Macchiato), Latte Macchiato ($3.65) (this is the real Macchiato), Flat White ($3.75), Caffé Mocha ($3.35), Pumpkin Spice Latte (when in season, which is apparently half the year), etc. Not to mention that over half of those drinks can be made iced.

There’s also the Frappuccinos, which I’m not listing all of because there’s a word limit on this article. You can also get teas such as the Shaken Sweet Tea Lemonade ($2.45); is it tea or Lemonade?

And yes, you can get straight, black as night coffee.

As mentioned beforehand, there are literally thousands of combinations and customizations you can make to these drinks, such as the milk types used, the amount of flavoring, sweetener, fat content, amount of espresso shots, specific type of whip cream and who knows what else. There are fours sizes of drinks to choose from—Tall (which means big), Grande (which also means big, albeit in Spanish), Venti (which means 20 in Italian, yet is 24 ounces) and Trente (which is 30 in Italian and is 31 ounces in reality). Make your pick, but realize that a Venti size Java Chip Frappuccino is a whopping 600 calories, literal food for thought.

This Grinder had a tall Flat White and it was delicious. The smooth espresso and milk combined to form a delicately, caffeinated beverage to be sipped while shopping.

The fact is, Starbucks is not that awful, the coffee can be very good at times, and I’ll be the first to admit that those coffee slushies they call frappuccinos taste absolutely fantastic.

However, there are issues with the brand well beyond their domination of the world. Their black coffee is less than desirable, as it is incredibly bitter and over roasted. Their food options are hit or miss, and I’m sorry, but some people need to really settle down with the options they add on to their drinks, but that’s more an issue with society than the store. If you need coffee, Starbucks will suffice—if you want coffee, I still would highly suggest going to some of the wonderful local coffee shops in the DU area, such as Kaladi Coffee Roasters or Stella’s Coffehaus.

Starbucks is literally located everywhere, just look outside your window. Hours are usually 5 a.m. to 9 p.m/10.p.m.