When Minnesota Viking running Back Adrian Peterson “disciplined” his son with a switch, it was simple for him to pass it off as the way he is rearing his child. In the past, spanking children, even with belts, was an acceptable punishment.
Now, however, this is considered reckless and negligent, as was the recent indictment for Peterson according to Sports Blog Nation, a sports news website.
Over the past 20 years, child rearing has morphed from using whips and belts to just putting them in the corner and making them say they are sorry, something which is not necessarily progressive. Today child rearing is centered on the pressure to “be the best.” It does not allow a real childhood and inadvertently eases discipline, calling for need to increase both balance and punishment.
If you ask your parents, they will most likely say that they were spanked at least once with a belt, switch or hand. It was thought that this form of punishment would make the child remember to not misbehave again. Parents did not associate the crime with pain, but with fear. If a 5 year old is subjected to a hand on the behind, they are going to remember the pain it brought and will most likely be apprehensive to rebel again. And this worked. But child rearing 20 years ago was more than just spanking; it often involved a stay-at-home mother and less of a push into academics and extracurricular activities.
Nowadays, ask any student how many clubs and sport teams they belonged to in high school — do not forget work and volunteering — and the answer is most often at least three. Today, parents are consumed with the idea that in order for their child to succeed, they must push them to the brink. They must study. They must play basketball. They must volunteer at the animal shelter.
Now, there is nothing wrong with being well-rounded and doing well in school, but the way students are pushed more is not necessary or healthy. Children need time to use their imagination, to play and to find their own passions, not partake in multiple, mindless activities thrust upon them at age 5.
Parenting today is at an inverse that it was 20 years ago. Today, children are pushed to succeed more and more, but they are rarely harshly disciplined.
Perhaps it is because most families in 2014 have two working parents, but children are simply not as painfully punished as they used to be. Instead of belts, parents use their words. They use short time-outs and discussions to ensure that their children understand why their misbehavior is unacceptable, a positive form of discipline. When a child knows what they have done is wrong and they can explain why, then they gain a deeper understanding of what not to do without fearing future pain. They recognize the consequences of their actions with rationality.
In recent years, children have been punished in a way that is more laid-back than in decades prior. Today, parents focus on pushing children academically and thus ignore the importance of proper punishment.
Children need to be disciplined in a way that is both direct and memorable, like how it was 20 years ago, but not in the same way.
Whipping kids is not the answer. It only incites fear and pain; it does not actually teach the child a lesson.
Moreover, the excessive pressure that parents put on children academically needs to change. While it is important for children to be involved, they need free-time. It is better for kids to spend time in one or two activities that they enjoy rather than spread themselves too thin.
Drawing on the past and present, there are positive parenting techniques that should be implemented. Child rearing is a complex, long and important process that is always changing. It is imperative for anyone thinking of becoming a parent, or is one already, to ensure that no matter how they parent their child, they ensure balance and safety.
The lacerations that Peterson’s son sustained from discipline are reprehensible; that is for certain. What is not certain, though, is how exactly a child should be reared.
As college students, we are independent of our parents, free to spend time in whatever activities we find interesting, grown up. Soon, we will be the parents and will need to decide how we want our children raised. As college students, we have the ability to be successful, independent, and happy.
The question for us is, how can we raise our children to have those same abilities? The answer is different for everyone, and that is how a child should be raised. After all, a parent’s strongest wish is for their child, their future, the future, to prosper.
