In Tolkien’s famed novel “The Hobbit,” tragic hero Thorin Oakenshield reflects that “There is nothing quite like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” When I first came to the Clarion, I didn’t really know what it was I was looking for. At that first meeting, on my first day of college, I arrived thinking the paper would be a good way to get a leg up in my future career.
What I found through the Clarion was so much more. I found what has become the frame of my college experience, and directed so much of my life and growth since that first day that, in many ways, my identity has been entwined with that of the Clarion for the past three years. That is what makes letting go now so difficult.
For three years, my week has culminated on Monday, revolved around Monday. Weekends became time for edits and planning and writing, while weeks became a desperate attempt to finish enough homework to not fail classes when I inevitably became consumed by Clarion work four nights out of the week. There have been immeasurable nights where I have been kept in, working on a story or edits while my friends have been out.
If this sounds horrible to you, believe me, it isn’t. I wouldn’t trade one minute of those aggravating nights spent in, of the nearly 12 straight hours spent in the Clarion office each Monday, where the lights are finally shut off somewhere between 2 and 4 a.m. I wouldn’t trade away one of the many times I broke down in tears or times I was so exhausted after a production Monday that I couldn’t get out of bed for class.
The Clarion has been my home for three years. When I first arrived at DU, I was lost in ways I didn’t even realize at the time. I didn’t feel I had a place here, didn’t know what I wanted my identity to be. But now, the person I became is scattered on my bedroom floor in clippings and past copies of the Clarion, and between the lines of print I can read my own story of personal growth and identity through the stories of our campus. The Clarion tells DU’s story, past and present. It is the pulse of this school, its students, our past and our future. I have found my place at DU through telling this story, through being a part of the team that assembled the paper late into the night each Monday wired on coffee and driven by looming deadlines.
What I will miss most is the people, who have made this experience one of the most meaningful of my life. To the ones I met on my very first day to the ones who are taking my place. Nowhere will you find a more dedicated, hard-working and admirable group of people. Students who pour hours out of their week into producing the best product they can, not for the minimal pay or line on their resume, but because they love what they do. There are too many people to name here, but so many of the people I have worked with during my time at the Clarion have inspired me these past years, taught me so much, and continue to do so today. My time here has brought me some of my closest personal friendships.
I would be remiss to close this without acknowledgement of my close personal friend and boss Alex, who has been a pillar at the Clarion and in my life for three years. It is remarkable to see how far we both have come from that first day at the Clarion together. I would not be the journalist, or the person, I am now without you. Even through the fights and frustrations, I am so glad for our time together. You have seen me at my worst and (less frequent) best, and supported me the whole way. To recall my vague “Lord of the Rings” theme, you are the Frodo to my Samwise.
To Lanna and Breanna: You are both some of the most dedicated, passionate people I know, and I have no doubt the Clarion is being left in more than capable hands. I am sure you will accomplish incredible things next year, and I cannot wait to follow along and see where this paper goes next under your joint leadership. Remember to cherish the time and each other, even through the best and worst of times. You will miss it all, in the end.
It’s strange to think of my life without the Clarion, it has always been part of my life while I have been at DU. But I believe my story here is over, and it is time for someone new to find the home the Clarion has to offer, for those who may not even know they are looking.
