Sometimes the best way to be heard isn’t with loud angry voices and messages of disapproval, but with simple signs of kindness. After Fred Phelps Senior, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church, passed away on March 19, the church, notorious for picketing at the funerals of LGBT individuals and members of the military, still decided to picket at a Lorde concert in Kansas City.
They sent their usual hateful messages, holding up signs with phrases like “God hates sluts” (in protest of Lorde herself not being a good example for young Christian women) and “God hates lukewarm Christians.”
The group’s message is so hateful that for the most part, they are laughed at and rejected by society. That has been shown with numerous communities coming together to protest back. Pro-LGBT rights signs have been held alongside church members’, human walls were created to keep them away from funerals and Lorde even tweeted asking her fans to break out the rainbow outfits at her concert in protest of the church being there. But nothing beats the message church members were met with when they started picketing the concert. Peaceful counter-protesters simply held up a banner that said “Sorry for your loss.”
After Fred Phelps’ despicable efforts organizing protests at funerals, you might think that the world would react to his passing in a vengeful way. And while there were certainly these expected reactions to be found in the social media world—those saying “good riddance” or suggesting a protest at his funeral, for example – there has been an overwhelming overall message of positivity.
The positive messages aren’t only directed at the family of Fred Phelps, but also toward those the church is protesting. A giant banner at the Lorde concert read “Live your life and be awesome,” counteracting the church’s message to be more “Godly.” Megan Coleman who helped make the “Sorry for your loss” sign told KSHB-TV that “It wasn’t so much about antagonizing [church members], but sending out a counter message that we are here for people who need positivity.”
There is no better way to spread a positive message than to direct it right back at those making the hateful comments. LGBT rights proponents have every right to be lividly angry at Fred Phelps and all who have followed his lead, but instead of hashing out that anger in a distasteful manner similar to the way Fred Phelps himself picketed, these protesters’ chosen method is much more powerful. It sends the message that they are unscathed by the picketers hurtful words and stand for something much bigger — simple human kindness.
Some might argue that Phelps deserves every bit of negativity sent his way, deceased or not. The way he hurt the family and friends of Matthew Shepard and Matthew Snyder, and countless veterans and LGBT individuals around the world is for many, unforgivable. But the best way to counteract the hateful way he lived his life is not to show hate toward him, but to do just the opposite. When Osama bin Laden was killed (not that I am by any means equating Fred Phelps to  Osama Bin Laden, but he was also widely hated by the population) there were celebrations in the streets of Washington DC, but many said this was inappropriate. We shouldn’t celebrate anyone’s death, evil or not.
Queer-Straight Alliance member Marin Klostermeier agrees.
“Even if you are very angry at the actions of a person and hate everything that they represent, it is not okay to be happy that they died,” she said. “Everyone is important to someone and denying the hardship that those people go through is hateful in itself. So I was very glad to see how those actions of the people holding the sign were reflective of that mentality.”
So props to all who have treated Fred Phelps’ death in the same way we would treat the death of any other father, husband, friend or pastor — as a genuine loss for all who knew and cared for him.  According to his daughter Margie Phelps, there is no funeral service scheduled. Perhaps that is for the best, because nobody — not even Fred Phelps— deserves to have their funeral picketed.