Since the beginning of time the human race has been trying to interpret the meaning of tragedy and the ensuing grief, and still there does not seem to be much rhyme or reason. It remains confusing, upsetting and disorienting. No past tragedy can prepare you for the present. But all tragedies can remind us of the preciousness of life.
Our DU community has been recently devastated by the deaths of Michael Ness and David Dubrow. Our hearts went out to family and close friends as we paid our respects at the memorial this past Sunday. The service was equally beautiful and heart wrenching. Students with both smiles and tears on their faces reminded everyone of the unique, caring and adventurous individuals that were lost all too soon.
The loss of a peer is a particularly poignant event, for they are individuals so near in age, aspirations and proximity. I never had the opportunity to meet Mike or become good friends with David, but I was nevertheless compelled to write this article. David was a classmate of mine last quarter and our paths crossed more than once. These simple occurrences changed my relationship to the news of the fire and the following events. My mind replayed our interactions, composed “what-ifs,” and tried to comprehend all of the other individuals affected.
Grief is so pervasive. Its tendrils wrap around even those distant hearts and minds. A person’s impact extends far beyond even their own knowledge. Even those you have never met or known can be in your thoughts or bring sorrow to your spirit. The interconnectedness of life is often so grand and inconceivable. It infiltrates all of our lives, no matter how hard we fight to stave it off. So many of us have been affected by this and other tragedies throughout our lives and will no doubt have to deal with ones in the future. What are we to do when it does arrive, whether unexpectedly or not? Both are strains on ones being in emotional, psychological and physical ways, jolts to the human psyche of indestructibility. For in reality, life is not certain, life is not infinite; life is fragile. Those things most easily and painfully lost are those that should be most valued.
What more can we do than to remember and celebrate those that have gone and recognize and treasure those still here? I have no way of knowing how everyone feels or processes this type of pain. All I know is that life can be fleeting and to never take the people in your life for granted. Now. Now is the time to take the time. Now is the time to forgive and forget. Now is the time to say, “I love you.”
For anyone have difficulty dealing with this tragedy please visit the DU Health and Counseling website (http://www.du.edu/duhealth/counseling/index.html) and contact our grief counselor.
