This space could be used to clue you in on what you might have missed over the summer in the sporting world. I mean, there’s sufficient space. Some cute clipart or some neat graphics could fit perfectly in here. I could make the font all fancy, set up a little timeline, and boom, there’s your sports update.

But I’m not going to do that.

As one of the media elite, I think it’s my duty to not only inform the public about important issues, but also inform them about things that they should never have been informed about in the first place. I’d like to talk about the things that happened over the summer that shouldn’t have made the news.

This of course means I have to start talking about the Heat. I hate talking about the Heat, and I know that I’m just contributing to the overall media obsession that surrounds the Heat, so I’ll keep it quick.

The Miami Heat should win the NBA title every year, no questions asked. When you have at least two NBA future Hall of Famers on the team, an NBA title should be the expectation and the outcome. It would have been more of a news story if the Heat had not won the title. It would be a news story if Erik Spoelstra led a sub-par team to a title, not a team with names like James, Bosh, Wade and Chalmers on the roster.

Next up, there’s the problem of Jonathan Paul Manziel, or Johnny Football to some. Most of the things he does are worth knowing about in the college football realm. Putting up 42 points on first place Alabama is a notable accomplishment. But if you follow ESPN at all, Manziel’s football prowess is destined to be constantly overshadowed by his tendency toward being a college kid. When Manziel was thrown out of a frat party at the University of Texas, it was as if there was nothing else going on in the sports world if you were watching ESPN. You would have thought that everyone was always welcome to frat parties, and that it was a travesty for anyone to ever be kicked out.

Once again, if it happened to my friend a week ago, I do not need to hear about it again.

Recently, Sports Illustrated released a four-part series detailing the corruption of the Oklahoma State football program, as if it was the first report of its kind. SI described, in grim detail, how athletes were actually having their homework done for them, and how a school-funded group of girls were used to “convince” recruits to attend OSU.

I have to admit, I was appalled after I read the report—that is, I couldn’t believe how much integrity OSU did  have. I was expecting to read about a player receiving a coupon to sleep with a coach’s wife, not about a measly $200 paycheck at the end of the game. Because that’s how privileged college athletes (especially football players) already are. It is nothing new. And I don’t want to hear about it.

In the undying words of Bill Murray from the masterpiece known as “Meatballs,” “It just doesn’t matter.”