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An all-star cast, a well-known quirky director at the helm and doses of eye-candy fail to make up for flimsy scriptwriting in the re-envisioned “Dark Shadows.”
Based on the 1960s gothic soap opera that aired on ABC, “Dark Shadows” follows a combination of storylines, revolving around the popular character Barnabas Collins, a 200-year-old vampire mourning his lost love. Johnny Depp, apparently wishing he was Barnabas since childhood, and Tim Burton (“Nightmare Before Christmas”), a fan of the show, seemed like a natural combination to jumpstart this project.
Beginning with the obligatory flashback to the year 1760, which explains how the wealthy Collins family established its own port and castle in the woods, the movie starts with an overdose on drama. The curse is cast when Barnabas Collins sleeps with the house-maid, and closet witch, Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), but then denies her his love. Angelique strikes with a vengeance, cursing the Collins family, robbing Barnabas of his true love (Bella Heathcote) and condemning him to a life of guilt and pain as a vampire.
Unearthed more than 200 years of being buried, Barnabas finds himself a foreigner in 1972. He reunites with the descendants of the now-tarnished Collins name, an Addams Family-esque group comprised of matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), angsty daughter Carolyn (Chloe Grace-Moretz), thieving brother (Jonny Lee Miller), haunted nephew David (Gulliver McGrath) and in-house drunkard psychiatrist Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter)
As much as Barnabas does not understand the new time period he inhabits, he does understand his need to support his new family and rebuild the their fishing empire. During his numberous attempts to do so, Barnabas finds his ancient rival Angelique has survived through the last two centuries as well, reincarnating herself multiple times throughout the years.
Filled with as much laughs as there is cheese, the film stays true to its soap opera roots, for better or for worse. The plot is mostly predictable, with a few twists and turns that don’t entirely make sense. The cast upholds the film as does the large budget for film making. Sadly, the stars and budget can’t help this from being a flop.
The thinly veiled moral of “family comes first” causes no offense, but the core drama of Angelique causing years of damage, because she got used and abused by a sallow, greasy looking Barnabas seems a little less than plausible.
In addition, the plot holes and weak character development seem to be glossed over by the lush cinematic effects characteristic of a Burton effort: grey, gloomy skies, gorgeous costuming, magnificent set pieces and heavily made-up faces. All this visual deliciousness and care, even paired with the big-name stars, cannot save this kitschy production.
Despite its faults, the film is an enjoyable romp with some witty juxtaposition of past times, quirky characters and cheese-tastic over-acting. While it may not be a summer blockbuster, or even worth the ticket price, it’s at least worth a rental and a good laugh on a boring evening.
