University of Denver Nation, if I may address you as such, the time we’ve surely all been waiting for has arrived. The time where one GOP candidate would rise from the ashes of the others and present him or herself as the clear and true leader we all want to vote for. That man, Nation, is Stephen Colbert.
Shortly after launching his exploratory phase for possible candidacy, Public Policy Poling reported our beloved troubadour of truthfulness the most favorable of the GOP candidates and gave him a 13 percent slice of the pie that is the presidential vote.Indisputably, Colbert’s candidacy seems too good to be true. Finally, we have a serious GOP candidate with only one fear: bears (the godless killing machines that they are). Is there, however, a snag in the red, white and blue fabric that makes up the strong hopes we, Nation, have for Colbert?
An excellent question. Yes, DU Nation, the only potentially perceivable problem with our nearly fearless leader’s run for presidency is his ownership of the Colbert Super Political Action Committee (PAC).
Colbert’s Super PAC, which he attained from the Federal Election Committee in June 2011, has been biding its time, gathering support from people who believe in an independent candidate who can know with his heart instead of think with his head.
Lucky for us, Colbert has thought of everything. To ensure he can continue his run for the presidential spot, Colbert has passed on the ceremonial Super PAC torch to John Stewart, host of The Daily Show and a person to whom Stephen Colbert certainly is not coordinating with. Stewart’s new Super PAC, also known as “The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC,” has already begun to run ads labeling Mitt Romney as a serial killer of corporations, which Romney describes as people.
Further ads have been released, including those urging voters to support Herman Cain in the South Carolina primary and a negative ad defaming Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich’s Super PACs of releasing negative ads. Clearly, Stewart and his Super PAC, which he obtained within the full confines of the law, independently thought up these ads without working with our beloved, sincere and genuine Stephen Colbert.
Further uses of the money donated to Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, the official name of the Super PAC, include chef Mario Batali cooking for, chewing for and subsequently feeding John Stewart like a mother bird.
This was one of the first of what I’m sure we can expect to be many, perfectly legal, public suggestions for the Super PAC’s activities from candidate Colbert. Nation, you have to love a candidate who not only stands up for what he believes in, but also takes the time to teach us about the inner workings and subtle nuances of our government and the campaigning process.
Clearly, these rules make complete sense and raise no questions about the integrity of Super PACs coordinating with candidates. As the commander-in-chief of our hearts said to the New York Times Magazine, “this is 100 percent legal and at least 10 percent ethical.”
Regardless of what happens in the future, I hope to see a legally close and ethically ambiguous relationship form between candidate Stephen Colbert and the “Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC.” Perhaps with the help of Stewart’s new Super PAC and the potentially unlimited funds it can raise, and help Colbert has never asked for, mind you, we may one day see our current prince of political pundits become president of the United States of America.
