A lot of people have trouble with their mental filter. You know, that thing in your head that stops you before you say something inappropriate.

Usually it’s a matter of saving face when you’re the one who’s slipped up, but what do you do when the over-the-line comment is directed at you?

Because everything is backward in Australia, we just had spring break here. Wanting to make the most of my surroundings, I joined a group of friends for a week on a live-aboard boat in the Great Barrier Reef. Living in such small quarters with people will make you bond quickly, but it can also make people think they’re closer with you than they really are.

For me, this problem arose in the form of my friend Mike. Mike is from Germany. I don’t know if it’s a cultural difference or just a lack of any filter at all, but he’s always said things most people wouldn’t (like the greatness of David Hasselhoff).

There’s a line between awkward and inappropriate, and with one sentence, Mike crossed that line. On our last night of vacation my friends and I were walking back to our hostel from dinner and I made a comment about how amazing the trip had been. Mike responded by saying that it had been good, but hadn’t gone as he had expected. Confused, I asked what he meant. He replied by saying, “Well, I had thought that I would sleep with you on the boat.” I burst out in laughter, believing he was telling a joke.

But then he told me that laughing at someone who tells you the truth isn’t very nice, so I realized he was serious. I tried to stop laughing, that uncomfortable laugh you do when you don’t know how to react, but I was so startled I couldn’t help it. I explained to him that that’s the kind of thing you should ask about and not just assume.

I was lucky, in a way, that Mike says stuff he shouldn’t all the time and is used to people’s reactions not being what he expects them to be.

I am used to Mike saying things that should never have left his head, but most in this situation aren’t so fortunate. Having someone tell you just exactly what is on their mind may be uncomfortable, especially when it’s out of the blue.

You can react in one of two ways: get offended or try to help the offender save face. I chose the latter because I knew Mike didn’t mean anything by it.

But had he said something worse, or had I not known him as well, I would have been offended. Who wouldn’t? The important thing was to express why Mike shouldn’t have said what he said in the first place.

The only one who dictates how other people get to talk to you is you. Explaining the offense yourself can help make a situation less awkward, as it will give the speaker a chance to realize what he said may have come out the wrong way or help him learn and prevent future missteps.