Come Friday night, Americans and sports fans across the entire world will celebrate the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Winter Olympics. It will mark the beginning of a 17-day marathon filled with national pride, sportsmanship and international camaraderie we only see once every four years.

The Olympics also will, as usual, show just how clueless we all really are.

One of the more interesting things about the Olympics is all the hype that leads up to the games. You’d have better luck scoring on Marc Cheverie than finding someone who can explain all the events.

I’m guilty as charged as well; I’d rather have my mom catch me in Fascinations than have to try and explain what the “Nordic Combined” event is, or how exactly one wins a game of “Curling.” With that said, here’s a crash-course guide to some things you should know about the 21st Winter Olympics before Friday night.

Blame Canada. This year’s winter Olympics are being held in Vancouver. If you are not sure where Vancouver is, it’s about two and a half hours northwest of Seattle. If you don’t know where Seattle is, then you probably shouldn’t be at DU.

There are 15 official events that go on throughout the games. From skiing to hockey to the biathlon and luge, the International Olympics Committee has worked to make sure there’s something for everyone. Even if that means making up new sports.    

Some of the big names on the U.S. team to keep an eye out for will be Bode Miller, Ted Ligety and Lindsey Vonn (alpine skiing), Apolo Ohno and Shani Davis (speedskating), Bill Demong and Todd Lodwick (Nordic combined) and X-Games faves Shaun White and Lindsey Jacobellis (snowboarding).

This will be the third time the Olympics have been held in Canada, and first time hosted by the providence of British Columbia. There are expected to be over 80 nations and 5,500 athletes participating in the games, and the estimated cost to put it all on is more than $2 billion. Somewhere, George Steinbrenner is wondering if he could afford to buy the Winter Olympics.

The United States will once again carry a strong team into the games. Other countries that’ll also compete for the most medals are Russia, Germany, Canada and Austria. As long as China doesn’t try to submit 14-year-old athletes into the events again, any of the previous countries should have a shot to come out of Vancouver on top.

So there you have it. Get ready for two weeks of excitement, drama, Bob Costas trying to use as many big words as possible and that over-played Olympic theme music. It’s time for two-plus weeks of trying to pretend we understand sports we never watch. Let the games begin.