On Your Mind: ‘Enough’

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As part of a new online series called “On Your Mind,” DU MIND, in partnership with the Clarion, is accepting personal works about mental health. Selected works will be published in the Clarion’s online lifestyles section. Submissions may include: narratives, poetry, personal illustrations or any other personal work. Pieces can be submitted here. To submit anonymously, use the following information as your own when prompted by Dropbox:

First Name: Anon
Last Name: Submit
Email: anonymoussubmissionsdu@gmail.com

My mother sends me links about how depression is linked to high altitude

Maybe she’s right

I can’t breathe, anyway

She thinks that I’m simply overwhelmed

Well, there she’s correct

I’ve been overwhelmed since I was first diagnosed with anxiety at twelve years old

My friends tell me to pray

I’ve been praying since I was a kid and still that monster in the closest won’t leave me alone

I think that maybe I just need some sleep

So I sleep and sleep and sleep until my mind screams at me and punishes me with aches that last

for days

Excuse after excuse

Pseudo escapes and temporary distractions

I am still alone

I still bleed

And it won’t stop

It will never stop

So I talk

I talk about the first time my step dad hit me and when he used to choke me with both his hands and his words

I talk about the first man I loved and how he forced me to do things I will never forget

I talk about the demons in my head and how their whispering never stops

I talk about how I am broken and how the pieces will never fit the same way again

I talk

I don’t stop

Yet still I remain unheard

I think that I am selfish

I just wish I were selfish enough

How is it that I am I still not enough

DU MIND is a club working to end the stigma on college campuses towards mental illness, starting at DU. All submissions are anonymous unless otherwise noted.

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